It has been forbidden to share the secret languages we learn when we become mothers.
This pact must be broken.
These languages carve their way up from our plump pussies, through our stretched wombs, up to our lungs where they stain the pink walls with crimson graffiti, and come bursting out of mouths once held pretty and taut. Now they stretch to allow the sacred songs of Mother through.
These languages so foreign to our societally trained tongues, even those of us thought rebellious and broken of cultural bonds will be brought to our knees when these sounds change our appropriate faces into something truly beautiful.
These dialects slide with tremendous need from once tight throats to free us and allow us to become Mother.
Howl
Deep from the pussy straight through the heart and out my wide open mouth howl.
I didn’t know I could make these sounds.
Moaning
An ache so guttural it vibrates the chords of my once silent voice box.
Scream
Reserved for the pristine moments of being shattered in motherhood. This happens a thousand ways.
Inhale
Yanking air into my lungs like a drowning woman to soothe my fractured nervous system.
Exhale
The sound of a breath carrying one or one hundred prayers for sanity, for peace, for love to continue penetrating every. Single. Cell. And destroying anything that is not it.
ShShhShhhShhh
You know this one. Muffled into the top of your head, mothers hand on your back, a gentle rocking motion. ShhShhShhShhhhh.
And if you don’t... come here, I’ll hold you.
Crying
Salty tears full of ache and unspeakable joy that you are here. You are real.
Laughter
Like bells chiming in a rhapsodic mirth a sound that ripples the whole body.
These languages knot together around awe and crumbling, joy and the sacred vow to love the life we bring forth.
Motherhood destroys the woman to bring in her offspring.
We willfully forget this and pretend it does not happen. That the woman has been annihilated in body and mind and spirit.
I honor the mother that rises from the blood stained birthing bed/bath/surgical table/field her naked baby in her arms.
You are a miracle.
Every. Fucking. Day.
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